Be it disciplining children or building self-discipline within ourselves, discipline is an essential aspect in every person’s life as it shapes an individual’s personality. Discipline is equally essential in Islam as other morals and principles. A child who received an appropriate parenting will have good morals and behaviour ingrained in his soul and mind, enabling him to withstand bad impulses and desires.
“And those who believed and whose descendants followed them in faith – We will join with them their descendants, and We will not deprive them of anything of their deeds. Every person, for what he earned, is retained.” (Quran 52:21)
In Islam, children are seen as an amanah entrusted to a family. As a result, parents must nurture virtuous offspring. Discipline promotes the educational, physiological and spiritual growth of children in accordance with Islamic values. Some adults may find it challenging to inculcate discipline in their children and may not know where to start. This article explores some ideas that might aid in teaching kids discipline.
* Love and Obedience to Allah
Assure children of Allah’s love and teach them to love Allah and to obey His Commandments. Their ability to live a disciplined life would come from their obedience to Allah. From an early age, children should be taught to believe in the Unity of Allah. Ask them to reflect on the Creations of Allah such as the earth, sky, trees and other living creatures. Inform them that Allah is the Creator of everything that exists. It is vital to instil in children the knowledge that Allah is the source of every living thing and that He is in control of everything. Expressing love and gratitude to Allah for every good thing in their lives is something that children should be taught.
* Love for Prophet Mohammad ﷺ and his Sunnah
Our beloved Prophet ﷺ is as we are well aware, the greatest man to have ever lived. We as Muslims must raise our kids to love the Prophet and enlighten them about his teachings, mannerisms, morals and his Sunnah. Stories and lessons on Prophet Mohammad ﷺ will help kids to adore and imitate their role model as they discover how to incorporate his teachings in their own daily lives. Moreover, stories about the Sahabah must be read to children to nurture their affection for these honourable individuals and allow them to be inspired by their sincerity, honesty, integrity and eeman. It could be beneficial if parents could allocate a proper time to explore the life of the Prophet, when youngsters can read about the Seerah in simplified books or parents may share with children these narratives in an age-appropriate manner.
* Paradise and Hellfire
Early childhood education can start with discussing the elegance of Jannah, its bounties and the encounters with Allah, Prophet Mohammad ﷺ and his companions. Educate kids about the pleasures of Paradise and the negative aspects of Hellfire as a way to discipline them. Inform them that Allah rewards people who do good with heaven while punishing those who do wrong. Tell them that Jannah is the genuine abode that they deserve and that they must strive hard in this world to achieve it. Urge them to make dua by asking Allah to grant them a place in Jannah. Allow them to get a bit older before introducing the concept of Jahannam. Just as the compassion of Allah is vastly larger than its wrath, discussions of Allah’s anger and retribution ought to follow later. Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “When Allah completed the creation, He wrote in His book with Him upon the Throne: Verily, My mercy prevails over My wrath.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
* Love for the Quran
Encourage youngsters to recite and memorize the Quran from an early age to foster an attachment for it deep within their hearts. Each of the accounts mentioned in the Quran about the earlier prophets provides a message that, when implemented in our lives, can enhance our understanding of the Quran and lead to a disciplined lifestyle. Since kids love stories, it makes sense to share parts of these stories with them. This will increase their knowledge of the Quran, spark their curiosity and make them eager to discover more as they get older. Remember not to reprimand your kids when they fail to read the Quran. Our main intention should be for children to become ardent readers of the Quran. Your ability to help children acquire a personal interest in the Quran will increase with how meticulous you are in your method of teaching them to read it through love and tenderness.
Adults and educators serve as advisors, helping children develop self-discipline and motivating them to follow the Islamic teachings and values. Below are some of the tasks that parents could undertake in providing discipline to young children.
1- Actions have consequences: Knowing that actions have consequences is an essential aspect of maturing. Setting this clear for kids is an easy way to demonstrate accountability and promote positive behaviour. Islam supports the use of positive reinforcement and moderate punishment as cornerstones for disciplining children. When kids accomplish wonderful things, we ought to acknowledge and praise them for it. Their sense of self-worth and confidence will grow as a result. Punishments ought to be beneficial as well. They can take many different forms such as taking away their mobiles or iPad, not letting them watch TV, assigning an additional task, etc.
2- Avoid being harsh: Adopting a constructive and compassionate attitude is necessary to shape children into morally upright adults. Gentle explanation and instruction on correct behaviour would be a preferable method of discipline than punishing children harshly for their mistakes. Prophet Mohammad ﷺ stressed the importance of fostering the minds of children through affection, empathy and tolerance. Anas radhiAllahu ‘anhu narrated: “I served the Prophet ﷺ for ten years, and he never said to me, ‘Uff’ (a minor harsh word denoting impatience) and never blamed me by saying, “Why did you do so or why didn’t you do so?” (Sahih Al-Bukhari)
3- Practice what you preach: It is natural for youngsters to observe and imitate what adults do. If you would like to see your children grow up to be virtuous and disciplined, then you must be mindful of your own behaviour. Set an example for your children by modelling behaviours you wish to see in them. Most importantly, Allah has cautioned us clearly from acting contrary to our teachings, “Do you order righteousness of the people and forget yourselves while you recite the Scripture? Then will you not reason?” (Quran 2:44)
4- Be patient and forgiving: It is common for children to make mistakes from time to time. When it comes to reprimanding kids for their bad behaviour, we adults must make an effort to remain calm and composed. Treating your child with love and compassion when disciplining them is essential for developing an affectionate relationship.
Allah’s Messenger ﷺ has said: “He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him.” (Sahih Muslim)
As Muslims, our first objective must be to create children who will love and obey Allah. In addition to the many material pleasures that come with nurturing morally upright children, its among the few things you can do that continues to serve you even after you pass away. The Prophet ﷺ said, “When a man dies, his acts come to an end, but three: recurring charity, or knowledge (by which people) benefit, or a pious child who prays for him (for the deceased).” (Muslim)
Written by Sister Sumayya Syed
