Introduction:
Have you ever been to your neighbour’s house and seen her 10-year-old staring at a tablet’s screen for ages? Or did you go for a family gathering and see all the teens stuck in a room watching some series? Well, how many of them are being supervised by adults? Nowadays, most children possess a smartphone by age 11 and many use it without supervision. And if parents do supervise, they usually give kids a free hand by the time they reach adolescence thinking that they are old enough to manage themselves. In this article, we will discuss the dilemmas faced while adolescents use devices and the responsibility of parents with regard to their supervision.
Why should we use the internet with caution?
The internet is loaded with all types of information – beneficial and harmful. It is not controlled by moral, ethical, or religious values and its content is usually produced by non-Muslims. The content can influence people by changing their opinions and moral values, which may end up being contradictory to Islamic teachings.
Adolescents are particularly vulnerable because their minds are still developing. The internet exposes them to all sorts of immoral content and unislamic ideas from which they could get influenced. This includes anti-Islamic blogs and posts, inappropriate pictural ads, musical backgrounds in videos and foul language.
What would early adolescents and teens use the internet for?
Adolescents naturally want to be independent and feel a need for privacy. Due to the hormonal changes that occur within them, Subhan Allah, they have a lot of curiosity, so they find the internet a private and easy source of information. It helps them because they don’t need to feel embarrassed by asking people questions about sensitive topics.
Moreover, most early adolescents experience peer pressure from their classmates. This is where Shaytaan comes into play. He makes the teen feel like the only way to impress his classmates is by gaining more knowledge on the unfamiliar and usually “Islamically inappropriate” topics they discuss. Shaytaan whispers to the teen repeatedly and pulls him towards the Haram content. Another driving force is the soul itself which has low evil desires, as stated in the Quran: Indeed, the soul is a persistent enjoiner of evil. (Yusuf: 53)
Because the teen is still young and probably hasn’t got a strong eeman, it is very difficult for him to stay out of this trap. If parents and elder siblings leave him free to do whatever he likes on his phone without supervision, this makes the process easier. The poor teen may be very religious and nice, not wanting to sin like this, but he can’t stop himself or control his evil desires. He may even experience depression due to being in two minds. Again, due to liking independence, the adolescent will probably keep his feelings to himself and keep surfing for more.
The role of parents:
As they grow up, they become smarter Alhamdulillah. With your training (tarbiyah), they know what is right and what isn’t. During their teenage years, they learn how to apply this knowledge practically by staying away from what is haram and adhering to what is right. If you leave them to do this by themselves, they might fail because Shaytaan can have easier access to their minds.
First, you should do dua for the protection of your children from Shaytaan, and don’t underestimate the power of dua. The prophet said: “Call upon Allah while being certain of being answered” (Sunan al-Tirmidhī 3479). Secondly, you should keep reminding them of Allah to build their taqwa and help them defend against their evil desires. You should politely explain to your teen that he should ask you questions about sensitive topics instead of the internet and discuss them before searching due to the immoralities of the internet. On top of that, you should encourage your teens to listen to tafseer, read hadeeths and the seerah which naturally covers all sorts of topics including sensitive ones (and this is the best source of knowledge, Ma Sha Allah).
Also, you should keep an eye on what your teens are doing on their devices. Below are some strict examples to be applied in a kind manner:
* Using app locks on certain apps to ensure that the teen asks for permission before use and gives an explanation of why he needs to use it.
* Regular inspections: You can do weekly or monthly inspections of your teen’s search history and watch history. Please warn them about searching unnecessarily or deleting searches.
* Limited device usage: To make sure the teen doesn’t waste time on the internet, ask the teen for a time limit instead of imposing one on him. Moreover, you may want to restrict the data usage allowance on each device or provide limited Wi-Fi. This way they will feel responsible and, in sha Allah, will be focused without getting distracted by the haram content.
* Use the computer publicly: This is probably the first and most important step of supervision. It’s a good idea to fix a place for the computer where any family member passing by can see what your teen is doing. Make it a rule that the computer will not go anywhere. Do not let your teen take devices into his private room while he is alone. If appropriate, do not let him use the internet at night.
* If your teen wants to do unacademic surfing, let him do it with a sibling or with someone around. Similarly, it’s better to make two of your kids watch cartoons, etc. together instead of one. This is because it is easier for the ones with weak eeman to be shy from others than from themselves. Till the teen develops shyness himself, i.e., has strong faith in Allah, he cannot be left to use devices without supervision. You shouldn’t assume that he is perfect from such errors because this is overtrust and generally harmful.
Conclusion:
If you never thought about these things before, it’s never too late! You can choose from these options what you think is most suitable for your family. However, don’t be very harsh and strict on your teens because Allah stated in the Quran: “Invite all to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and kind advice, and only debate with them in the best manner.” (Nahl: 125) You should discuss these issues with them and let them know the reason behind the restrictions. In sha Allah, you can gradually guide them to good and pull them away from evil. Being a parent, you are responsible and no one other than you can do this. Always do your efforts, then leave it to Allah. May Allah guide the Muslim youth to the straight path and make them leaders of the pious. Ameen.
